By Michelle Spicely
Many marriages fail because we fail to invest time honing our relationship. When we want to be promoted on our jobs we put in extra time and do whatever we can to perfect our craft. Marriages are no different! You have to sow into your relationship what you want out of it. I have been married for 25 years in May. My marriage is not perfect but when the storms of life break down our door, we band together and fight as one. We still love each other and even like each other.
Ladies, I'm writing this for you. I know you already have a lot on your plate, especially if you work full-time and have kids. However, if you don't minister to his mind, you may have problems down the line. I have listed 4 things I have learned over time.
1. Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! Communication is key in any type of relationship and critical for a romantic one. Ladies, communication doesn't mean you do all the talking. I'm talking about ACTIVE communication, which involves listening as well as talking. Not interrupting, even if you're dying to get your point across. Write it down and wait for him to finish his thought. When you interrupt him while he's talking, your message to him is that what he has to say is not important, which starts to break down the communication process. Remember, men are different from women. We do it all the time with our girlfriends and we think nothing of it.
2. When your mate comes home from work, give him a minute to change from provider to husband. Though he technically is always your husband, mentally, there has to be a transfiguration in their thought process. Let's be honest, you probably have talked to your co-worker or/and called your girlfriend before you NEED to talk to him. Just give him a minute before you finish your words for the day.
3. Men keep a lot of problems or issues locked inside. Develop the type of relationship that encourages him to open up. How do you do that? BY COMMUNICATING! Ask about his day consistently and be genuinely concerned, listen, and respond. Don't go into your day until he has finished. I started doing this with my children (two boys), long ago. Now there isn't anything I can't talk to them about. If doable, call him on his job just to see how his day is going.
4. Plan time away from home once in awhile. It doesn't matter if you're the one who always makes the plans. What IS important is that it gets done. One date I planned for my husband and I that I will never forget, and neither will he: We always would get away and check into a hotel, so that was no big thing. However, this time I checked us into the Brown Palace; not one of the cheaper ones. I told him to get ready for dinner and he had to wear a suite. He asked me if he should go get the car. I replied, "No." He kept getting ready, then he asked, "Are we walking?" I replied, "No." He finally asked, "Are we taking the bus or what?!" I replied, "No." I was very vague and I was cracking up inside!
We finally go down to the lobby and I had a white stretch limousine waiting to take us to dinner. The look on his face was priceless! It was snowing and the restaurant was up in the mountains. The driver drove around first, since we were a little early. If you know anything about Colorado, the scenery was breathtaking.
These are just a few things to help you properly minister to your husband. If love is mixed with good communication, consideration, concern, and spontaneity, your marriage has a good chance of surviving. You don't have to spend the kind of money that I did on a date, in fact I never did again, spend that kind of money that is. My husband thinks I'm silly for the things I have done, but he loves every minute of it and talks about it for days. Just getting away from the grind can renew your relationship.
Try it! You will enjoy it just as much if not more. God Bless!