15 March 2013

Comments:

5
 March 15, 2013
 5
Category: Divorce
Divorce Party

Divorce Party

Venue rented: Check!

Made sure the planner took care of all of the decorations: Check!

Arranged for the Limo to transport you to the venue: Check!

DJ is set up: Check!

Sounds like it’s going to be one great night! Yup those are some of the logistics that have to be taken care of when you are having a wedding reception, but what happens when those are the same logistics you have to take care of when you get a divorce? Yes, you guessed it; I am talking about the controversial topic of the disturbing trend of Divorce Parties.

As if it isn’t bad enough already that couples are getting divorced and families are being broken up at such a high rate, but now we find it fitting to CELEBRATE the breaking up of those families.  The Divorce Party business is growing at a high rate, one top retailer mentions that his divorce party supplies are up 30% in the last 3 years and another planner says she books divorce parties from anywhere from $5000-$20,000! Wow thats one huge price tag! When in America did we begin to celebrate the ending of marriages. When did we begin to glorify the fact that we broke the vows and the covenant that we created under God? When did we give up the idea of  until death do us part and substitute it with lets split up and celebrate about it?

I do understand that the process of a divorce can be devastating and can drain someone mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally. For some people they argue a divorce party is a “celebration of a new start” or a “celebration of closure.” That sounds good and all, but the bottom line is that if you are going to call it a divorce party then the perception is that it’s a celebration of divorce.  Furthermore just because dealing with a divorce is difficult doesn’t mean that we should celebrate it when it’s over. The analogy I would use is; if we have a kid who decides to drop out of college, should we throw him a party just because his classes were really hard? I would argue that odds are that wouldn’t happen.

The biggest implication and the real reason I have an issue with the idea of divorce parties is the message that it’s sending to others. If we reinforce a lack of success with celebration then what is the incentive to actually try to succeed? Divorces are causing families to break up every day and we can act as if it’s no big deal, but our communities are suffering because of it. Our kids are being damaged, and our adults are becoming broken as a result of divorce and I think the last thing we should be doing is celebrating it. Divorce is definitely a reality in our society, but maybe we should focus more of our energy on how to heal from the divorce so we don’t carry baggage and become an even better person and mate for the next relationship instead of spending thousands of dollars to celebrate how much of a jerk our ex mate was or how much money we gained from alimony.  Maybe we should spend some time reflecting because I’m almost sure you carry some fault in the relationship’s end as well. Or, is it that you were so perfect that you feel the need to celebrate your “victory?”  There are already enough reasons to celebrate; I’m not sure that divorce should be added to the list.

Get involved in the conversation: What are your views on divorce parties? Would you want your mate to attend a divorce party?

Thanks for reading folks and please comment and share your thoughts!

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5 responses on “Divorce: A Reason To Celebrate?

  1. Jay says:

    I wouldn’t attend a divorce party nor would I endorse someone having one. I believe it shows the immaturity & ignorance of the individual having it.

  2. Koretta says:

    I actually think its a coverup for how people truly feel about the situation. If I can make you think I am sooo glad that man/woman is out of my life and I am the better for it that minimizes my failed marriage. Then no one ask me what really happened. No one can see my faults and my wrong doings. I threw the party so its obviously the other persons fault. I think divorce parties allow the people in the divorce to not have to take responsibility for the marriage. Because truthfully all problems can be worked out but both parties have to be willing to actually do the “work” to rectify them.

  3. Mary says:

    Most ppl who choose to celebrate a divorce are usually celebrating a breakthrough.. That celebration for them signifies something, whether it is no for physical abuse or no more emotional pain. Those who dont celebrate, feel like Koretta, why cover up my feelings, a divorce is not something to celebrate and that is OK and is the norm. Everyone is different. Just like when someone dies, everyone mourns differently. There is no right or wrong way. No one knows what that person went through. If they feel like they have something to celebrate then who are we to judge or say different. I dont see it as being ignorant or immaturity.

  4. NakedGirlz says:

    To each his own, but divorce was nothing to celebrate for me. After my divorce, I definitely felt as if it built strength and character. For the first time in over ten years, I took a stand and decided to accept nothing less than what I deserved. However, the fact remained that my family was destroyed. My children now have to bounce from house to house to spend time with two adults that frankly should’ve done better and made better decisions. At the end of the day, I chose to divorce not because of who he was or what he did but because I didn’t like who I had become while trying to deal with those things. While I do have alot of things to celebrate now; strength, resilence, wisdom etc. The actual divorce and all that it entails; for me, was nothing to celebrate. ~Shemeka Michelle

  5. Sledge says:

    This is a terrible thing. The ends don’t justify the means. I believe that once that divorce goes final, that’s it. A party to celebrate being single again and essentially turning a blind eye to the vows and time you gave to spend your life with someone else? Don’t they realize that they’re restarting the process all over again? Don’t they think that they are alone once those balloons pop?

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