First and foremost I want to say HAPPY NEW YEAR to my audience as this is my first blog of 2013! Although I have been mentoring, life, and relationship coaching for a while now I wanted to make sure to announce that I am now a CERTIFIED life and relationship coach! As ya’ll know already though I like to call myself a “REALITY EXPERT!” It’s amazing that my blog about my Mother is what started this journey and has lead me down a path that has allowed me to walk in my passion and purpose! I want to officially say thank you to everyone who has joined the XKLUSIVE THOUGHTS movement. Thank you for all of the support and I hope that you will continue to support the movement and allow me to write to you, inspire you, coach you and occasionally give you a quick REALITY CHECK!!
OKAY so enough about me and back to a topic that I really want my audience to pay attention to because it’s so important. I want to talk a little bit about letting go. So many people are in a very miserable place in life because they won’t let go of the thing or person that made them miserable in the first place. Although I could dress this up and put in a lot of colorful words and similies and metaphors this time I want to get straight to the point! These are 3 things I want you to do in 2013 so that you can begin to let go!
1) STOP COMMUNICATING WITH HIM/HER: Look folks this half way breaking up thing does not work! If you are going to claim to be breaking up with someone then you need to seriously break up with them and that starts with stopping the communication. That means all of the texting, talking, emailing, twittering, facebooking, or whatever has to cease. If you have kids together then I know you must communicate, but it should ONLY be about the kids. Well why can’t we be friends??? Im not even going to go there because I answered that question in a previous blog called “We Can’t Be Friends“ I just need you to trust me on this one. You communicating will slow down your healing and “getting over it” process so just DONT DO IT! Oh and by the way this includes NO MORE SEX! This whole “we broke up, but we are still gonna be friends with benefits” thing must stop. I don’t care how horny you get or how good the sex was/is you must close your legs so that you can eventually close your heart.
2) LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE: If it’s one thing I can’t have any empathy for it’s a person who continues to make the same mistake over and over and over again. I know that maybe you and whoever had some great times, but ummm I’m almost willing to bet that the bad times are the reason he or she is your EX now. Stop trying to bury the bad things and keep alive the good things just so that you can justify playing the double dutch back and forth game with him or her. We can all learn different things from every experience and relationship, but what you can’t continue to do is set yourself up for failure by making the same mistakes. When you don’t learn from your past you are doomed to repeat it and for that reason many people would rather stay in their safe and comfortable bad situation all b/c they are afraid of making the same mistake again. Accept the fact that it’s over and embrace the lessons you learned from the situation. If you took an L, then take that L (loss) and better prepare yourself for a W (win) later!
3) WAVE THE WHITE FLAG: What I mean is this…..stop trying to “win” the situation. SO WHAT that he has a new girl or she has a new man, and SO WHAT they “don’t have nothing on you!” The bottom line is that you are still not allowing yourself to let go of the situation all b/c you are still fighting for the person that is your EX for a reason! Ask yourself this…even if you win what is the prize that you are getting?? You don’t have to try and win the situation all to prove a point to yourself b/c at the end of the day your EX is the one who is winning b/c he or she probably has both of y’all. So in this case even if you think you are winning you are still losing. Besides…your ultimate win and revenge will be when you let go and move on completely. We all know the hardest thing to accept is when we figure out that our EX really doesn’t care anymore and has moved on! When your ex sees you do that that’s when you will really #WINNING!!
I can already hear it! Im listening to the thoughts of the people reading this blog who aren’t truly ready to let go and the first thing they are saying is “well thats easier said than done!” My response is “well isn’t everything?” Just because something isn’t easy doesn’t mean that it doesn’t need to be done! Many of you must let go of whats wrong now so that you can hold on to what’s right later! There are a million other tips I could give to help people let go, but I believe that these three are a great starting point! If you aren’t ready to receive these 3 points then odds are you aren’t truly serious about letting go, but when you get serious you know where to find me!!
Get involved in the conversation on twitter: Comment and give your tips for letting go by mentioning me @xklusive5 and using hashtag #LETGO!
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