“I used to love without fear a long time ago….when all I ever wanted was love”
STOP….Think about it! No seriously think back to that time in your life when you loved so innocently….no fear, no guilt. Maybe it was your first love, your college sweetheart, or even your current significant other. It doesn’t really matter who it is or was, but we all had that feeling at one point or another. Remember how pure it was, remember when you woke up with him or her on your mind and went to sleep feeling or hoping to feel him or her in your bed. You felt like you never wanted to lose that lustful feeling, like everything was just right, and like he/she could do no wrong! You found pleasure even in the awkward “physical” moments, you found something cute about the “jealous” moments, and you found comfort in the making up after the “fighting” moments. Yup those were good times until…..
“Somebody came around and tried to hurt me, tried to make me feel like I was unworthy, took a pure love and tried to make it dirty”
It happened…somebody you really love did something that hurt you terribly. It made you question whether or not it was ever worth it. Was swallowing this pill called love, really worth this side effect called pain? The disappointment lingers on….you ask…what did I do wrong? Why would he or she do this to me? Did he or she ever really love me in the first place? Your heart like a volcano erupts with anger, overflows with lava tears ,and calms into ashes of bitterness. It hardens…your mind and your heart make an agreement and vow NEVER to love or trust again.
“Had a paralyzingly fear of facing failure, and I couldn’t love you perfectly without fear in my head”
You met somebody! He is great….looks good on paper, interviews well, and even performs the job well! Something must be wrong though…he is too nice…he doesn’t have enough swag. Not to mention he calls me everyday and he always wants to spend time with me….he is just too “needy!” You begin the superficial self-handicapping because there is no way he is who he seems. Furthermore remember you promised yourself you weren’t getting into anything serious and you damn sure ain’t doing that love thing again. He tells you he wants something more…the fear sets in…so you call him and have the “friend zone” conversation.
“We should just be friends.” Yeah that’s what you told him. He agreed because his pride wouldn’t let him tell you he was devastated. All he really wanted was to love you how you deserved to be loved and for you to return the favor. He continues to call, but slowly and surely the phone calls come less often, and the wanting to see you comes far and few between. For some reason the less he calls the more you think about him. You miss his smile, his convo, the fun y’all had, and how comfortable you felt around him. You think “maybe I liked him more than I thought, maybe we should have been more than friends.” Months later you see him…he sees you…but then you look at his left hand and clinching his hand is the illusion of you, but the reality of her who he just made his new queen.
“something awkward about the selflessness it takes to, give love and the good that it makes you!”
Stop…Think about it! Go back to the first paragraph of this blog, remember those times, and do yourself a favor and get out of your own way! Stop letting the fear of being hurt again overshadow the joy in the love you could have. LET GO…and stop letting your past cheat you from your future. The fear is real and letting go isn’t easy..I GET IT, but the new person in your life doesn’t deserve to be hurt by the old situation in your life! After all holding on to your love won’t make giving it away any easier.
“I had to lose myself, so I could love you better….lose myself in love!”
(If you have never heard the song that inspired this blog listen to it by clicking the red link below showing LOSE MYSELF)!
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