By Nick Bastion/Vixen Daily
Nobody WANTS to feel jealous.
It’s natural, sure. And it’s pretty much impossible to avoid if it’s already got its hooks into you. And some people are flattered when another person feels jealous over them.
But to the person feeling jealous – it SUCKS. You feel awful. Your mood goes to crap. Jealousy can take control and screw up your love life in a second.
That’s why it’s so important to know how to stop being jealous and prevent it from messing up your relationships.
Ready? Here’s how:
How To Spot Jealousy And Shut It Down
If you’re going to stop jealousy in its tracks, it makes sense that you have to recognize when you’re feeling jealous, right?
It’s actually really easy to convince yourself that the crappy feelings you’re having are because of something TOTALLY different, because you’ve got tons of other stuff going on and you NEVER get jealous…
When in fact you’re jealous and in denial.
So please, don’t give in to your ego’s jealousy-denial complex. If you’re jealous, admit it, recognize it, and begin to move on.
The first step is finding out what made you feel jealous in the first place. Whether it’s your man hanging out with his friends over you or because you saw him flirting with some other woman, knowing the cause of jealousy will help you get past it quicker.
So how do you shut jealousy down once you find the source?
Get Rid Of Jealousy By Cutting Off Its Fuel Supply
Sure, you’ve found the SOURCE of your jealousy… but do you know what jealousy thrives on?
What it needs? What it uses as energy? What it burns as fuel to rampage through your life messing everything up?
I’ll give you a hint. It’s the opposite of confidence.
That’s right, I’m talking about insecurity.
Jealousy THRIVES on insecurity. It needs insecurity to even exist.
When you’re feeling jealous, what you’re really feeling is insecurity about your relationship with someone – and then projecting that insecurity outwards.
Insecurity + Projection = Jealousy
Pretty simple equation, right? (Note – that’s not math and you don’t have to know math to read this article).
Anyway, the way to starve jealousy at its source and stop it from rampaging through your life is to deal with your own insecurity first.
If you’re not insecure, then you won’t feel jealous – because you’ll have nothing to feel jealous about.
So what if your friends hung out the other night without you. You’re confident and secure that they’re good friends – so you’ve got nothing to worry about.
So what if your boyfriend ran into his ex while he was out. You trust him, and you’re confident in the strength of your relationship – so there’s no reason to feel jealous.
All It Takes Is A Little Bit Of Confidence
And when it comes to confidence – if you don’t have any, there’s a simple way to get some.
It’s called, “Fake it ‘til you make it”.
What that means is – act the way you think a confident person would act in a situation, even if you don’t FEEL confident.
Just by acting like a confident person would, you’ll give the impression of confidence to everyone around you… and here’s the amazing part…
You’ll feel more confident inside – even if you didn’t to start with.
Turns out, confidence is way more about actions than attitude. If you’ve got the actions without the attitude, confidence will grow naturally inside you. Imagine that.
So next time you’re feeling jealous and you want to stop it, here’s what to do:
Think of the thing you’d like to do most at that moment (like throw accusations at him, or go through his phone, or give someone the silent treatment)…
And then do the OPPOSITE of that action.
Seriously, try it. It’s hard to feel jealous when you’re behaving warmly towards someone who your instincts are telling you to be cold and hostile to.
Plus, remember, it’s not the JEALOUSY that screws up your love life – it’s the ACTIONS your jealousy brings out of you.
So if you make an effort to do the OPPOSITE of what your jealousy is screaming at you to do, it will actually strengthen your relationships rather than sabotage them.
And then you can kick jealousy out of your life as quickly as possible.
It won’t be EASY, per se. But it will be worth it.
Vixendaily.com is the only site out there that specializes in mind-reading quizzes, content and advice tailored to your particular needs. It’s like having your own personal mentor guiding you through life’s challenges every step of the way!
It was founded by dating and relationship expert, Nick Bastion, who is the main contributor to the Love & Relationship Advice section of the site.