Love Is Blind....Or Is It? 3 Things To Consider About Interracial Dating

29 January 2014


 January 29, 2014

Seeing this moved me, but not in a positive way. Tamera Mowry Responds to Critics of Her Interracial Marriage on Oprah’s Where Are They Now . The thought that it’s 2014 and that so many people are complaining about being alone that we still have such low tolerance for dating outside of our races is astounding to me. Don’t get me wrong I am all for “BLACK LOVE,” thus I chose to marry a beautiful black woman, but just like black love I  love LOVE also! In a world that glorifies dysfunction and hate nothing makes happier than to see two people who cherish and love each other. Well lets talk about it…come follow me!

NEWSFLASH: The Pew Research on Social and Demographic trends reported that 15% of all new marriages are interracial. Many people aren’t as liberal or comfortable with this fact, thus there is some negativity that floats around about it for different reasons. With that said here are 3 common things to reconsider on the topic of interracial dating:

1) “I don’t date my own race.”

Okay I have no issue with people having preferences, but your preference should be because you like someone and not because you took a vow to dislike someone else. When men say “I only date white girls or foreign girls” or women say “I only date black men or I only date white dudes” you have to wonder if it’s really just a preference or is it because you have been hurt by someone and now you despise everybody else that reminds you of that bad turn of events. How small minded is that? When a beautiful woman hurts a man I don’t see him saying “I only date ugly women!” When a tall, dark, and handsome man hurts a woman I don’t see her saying I now only date short, fat, and ugly men. My point is that if you prefer a specific type of person to date then that’s okay, but let it come out of a true place of preference FOR and not a place of dislike AGAINST.

2) “I’m mad because you date other races”

Many of my friends that are in interracial relationships say that the hardest part is the judgment or attitude they get from those of their own race. Women say things like “they are always taking our men” and men say things like “what is she doing with that lame dude?!” The bottom line is if those two people are happy together then let them be happy. You being unhappy about them won’t bring you happiness any faster. Having an attitude towards that person or couple, giving that couple a hard time or sneering sarcastically does nothing more than make you look petty and small minded.

3)  “My race is too (insert negative comment here) so I date elsewhere”

PSA…no matter what the race we all come with flaws! I find it funny that no matter the race of the clients I coach the issues are still the same. Don’t think you are escaping anything by veering off to a different race because as long as we are people with different emotions and different life experiences we will all have flaws.  Statements like “black girls are to independent and not submissive enough” and “all black men are dogs or bums,” or “white men are too soft” and “white women are too loose” are all generalizations in which you can find in people of any race. Maybe it’s time to dig a little deeper and see that people are really a sum of their experiences.

As much as I hear people complaining about not being able to meet a good mate then maybe it’s time to start exploring other options and broadening your dating pool. Maybe instead of trying to find reasons NOT to date outside of your race it may be time to find reasons why you CAN! Now if you decide to date interracially you must understand that you may face some of these issues described above. You must also understand that cultural differences are real! Culturally someone outside of your race may not be able to relate to you as effortlessly so if that’s important to you then you must consider it. You must also take some time to understand their culture because if you don’t conflicts could occur. At the end of the day it’s about two people being happy together and building a healthy relationship. Instead of being so judgmental maybe we should just be more open minded! Let’s stop hating interracial dating and start loving LOVE!

Xklusive Thoughts Fam What are your thoughts on interracial marriage or dating!?


6 responses on “Love Is Blind….Or Is It? 3 Things To Consider About Interracial Dating

  1. Lisa says:

    I never really frowned upon interracial dating until I got older and found it hard to find someone. Now knowing several couples and opening up my mind it doesn’t effect me anymore. Though I never imaged dating outside of my race, I’m open to anything at this point. Good blog!

  2. Elena says:

    Hey your blog is cool. I read a few posts and I liked them.
    I have found my partner here

  3. Rebecca says:

    I like your blog I've never dated a black man but I never  had a problem with someone who does.. I've never found myself attracted to many black men… Until now I've started working with several but this one guy just caught my attention and I can't stop thinking about him. We started talking but not dating.. I'm a little apprehensive considering the trouble this could cause for both of us… But I'm gonna see where it goes and if it's meant to be we can ride it out together… If not I will walk away knowing I met a really awesome man that's a great dad to his children and a hard worker considering that has become something you can't find much in many races nowadays I consider it a honor just to be friends with a man like that.

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